Toledo, OH: In a response to the recent City of Toledo Fire Department budget cuts Toledo Mayor Carty Finkbeiner has announced that everyone in the city limits will receive a 50 foot garden hose with nozzle. The city has estimated that this will save the city approximately $70.53, and will not have any impact on balancing the city's budget. When asked where the administration came up with the idea the Mayor's spokesman Jason Weber said
"the Mayor was playing Sim City and it worked in Carty Land so it has to work in Toledo"
Members of the mayor's staff have confirmed that the majority of the decisions made by this administration have been a implemented and tested in the popular computer game Sim City. Stephen Williams the former Director of Parks and Recreation was asked about his experiences dealing with the 22nd floor and mentioned that back in his day during the first Reich of Carty decisions were based off of games like Candyland, Life, Chutes and Ladders and the always popular Monopoly.
There will be a formal training for the garden hoses held at Erie Street Market on June 2nd, There will also be additional training for the homeless on June 3rd, when each homeless person will be issued a bucket and be encourage to roam the city putting out fires. No word on when the City will start to issue guns to help with the Police budget cuts.
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