Detroit, MI –In an unprecedented move by a major corporation, General Motors has decided to host a bake sale on May 1, 2009 to raise capital needed to keep the company afloat. Industry experts heralded the move as “genius”, saying “if it can pay for an entire Little League, why can’t it work for what was once the largest corporation in the world?” GM explains this new capital strategy by referencing millions of times people have used Bake Sales to help people in dire financial straits. “ If a community can have a Bake Sale and re-build someone’s burned down home and replace all of their possessions with the proceeds, why can’t GM do the same?” GM sources were also quick to point out that if the Bake Sale idea pans out they will be coming after the bread and butter of cash raising – Girl Scout Cookies. “Hey, you never see the Girl Scouts needing cash, those cookies are good and they sell like legal crack, and we want in on that cash cow, you can bet your sweet ass you’ll be seeing GM Cookies all over the place.” When asked why doesn’t GM doesn’t just produce quality vehicles at a fair price to keep the company afloat, we were told “we feel the Bake Sale idea is a better way to go for the company.”
-Bill Brasky
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