Nurses Excited About Police Layoffs

Toledo, OH:

Due to the recent announcement of massive budget cuts and layoffs in the Toledo Police Department many citizens are concerned about the possibility of an increase in crime. However, nurses at St. Vincent's Medical Center are looking forward to the possibility of an increase in business. Julia Jackson a third shift Charge Nurse says the entire nursing staff is excited that they might have to treat "real" cases.

" After a while you just get bored with kids with broken bones, and black eyes from bar fights, every once in while you need a good stabbing or a multiple gunshot to walk, crawl, or be wheeled through the door" said Ms. Jackson

According to medical records the number of gun shot and stab wounds has risen slightly in recent months but most of that is attributed to the recent warmer weather. With these budget cuts and summer approaching crime should hit an all new high and without the threat of police involvement criminals will have more time to assault their victims.

Charles Dawson a local drug dealer (Street Pharmacist) and home invasion expert is equally excited about the budget cuts.

" In the past if someone stiffed me on a drug deal I'd either have to plan my retaliation or quickly assault them and get out of there before the five O's rolled up on me. Now I can really fuck someone up and get my money back right on the spot" said Mr. Dawson

"Hell I might even start assaulting random people on the street for they wallets and whatever else they gots" added Mr. Dawson

According to Ms. Jackson crimes like those committed by Mr. Dawson are usually the type that produce the best cases for the nurses.

"It really gets you going when your shift starts to drag and an innocent person is brought through the door with their face slashed from ear to mouth, a deep cut in the femoral artery and then when you find out they have massive head trauma it just makes your night. The best part though is when you have to tell the family of innocent victims about their injuries, it just makes you as a nurse feel good"

Doctors are excited about the increase in business as well. Between drags of his cigarette Dr. Gregory Watson a Pulmonary and Respiratory specialist said

" Lately its been the normal lung cancer type of cases, it's been awhile since we have had a collapsed lung due to a random shooting, those are our favorite up here, it really makes have to think on your feet"